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In the garden again

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There is a secret to gardening that they don’t tell you in any of the books or TV shows. But it’s a secret that’s well worth knowing none-the-less:

Always take your glasses off before you go out to do some work in the garden.

This year alone I have lost two pairs of glasses in our back garden. These joined the pair I lost last year and also possibly my iPod touch (the loss of which still brings a tear to my eye in my more unguarded moments).

It happens the same way each time. I go out there vowing not to take them off my head. Then I start to dig a hole or something and begin to sweat. And as we’ve established already (on BBC Radio no less), I’m a very sweaty man.

Soon the glasses start to start to slip off my head when I’m bent over. And so, subconsciously, I take them off my head and put them down somewhere safe.

And they are never seen again.

Of course it’s obviously not me who’s to blame. No, that would be ridiculous. it’s those bloody megalomaniac chickens, that’s who. I’m not entirely sure why they keep stealing my glasses, but I’m pretty sure it’s something to do with incorporating the lenses in some sort of death ray device.

Anyhow, I’m three pairs of glasses down but I’ve finally learnt my lesson. Today I’ve spent about seven hours in the garden and my specs have remained firmly on the lounge mantelpiece, well out of the reach of kleptomaniac hens. I WIN!

Plus, I got a hell of a lot done up there today. There is nothing more satisfying than a bit of physical graft.

The main thing I did was a complete clean and disinfect of the chicken coop. I’ve been having awful problems with Red Mite recently. In fact I suspect they may have even had something to do with Evel Knievel’s death last month. She was broody and refused to get out of the coop and I think the little bastards may have caused her to become anemic.

I spent about £20 on various sprays and powders, which appeared to work for a little bit but within a week or two they were swarming as bad as before.

So now I’ve bought an industrial sized container of “Poultry Shield” and have thoroughly washed and scrubbed the coop again. I intend on doing it all again next weekend too. I hope it works as I’m not sure what I’ll do if it doesn’t. Apparently painting the inside of the coop with Creosote works wonders, but you aren’t actually allowed to buy the real stuff anymore.

While I had everything out I also gave the coop a rather spiffing coat of paint. I must admit I’m rather pleased with the outcome.

I also painted the kid’s wendy house as well (you can see it in the background of the photo). I have vague ideas of turning it into the Duckhouse for my imminent Indian Runners. However it’s current function as the place where I store all the crap is pretty useful too.

I’m half wondering if I should make a run for the ducks too. The chickens have one, although I nearly always leave it open so they can free range in the entire garden. However it can be quite useful when we go away so the neighbors don’t need to worry about letting them in and out. Any advice from people in the know would be gratefully received.

However, that’s something to mull over. Tomorrow, providing the weather is ok, I have a list of other jobs to tackle. I’m going to extend the guinea pig run, convert the sandpit to a rhubarb bed, and extending my tyre strawberry patch.

Things are pretty fun on Old McHughes farm at the moment.


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